He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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