ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
