Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
