bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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