that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize