I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
