Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
