I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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