Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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