it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
