did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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