i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
