She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
