Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
