After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
