I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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