i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
