i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
