If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize