just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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