One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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