I want to make a zoo with you.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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