I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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