I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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