I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
