Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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