I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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