How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
and you fell through a lawn chair
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
