i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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