its not stalking. its research.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
