their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
