I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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