I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
