Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
