Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
