I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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