oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
