My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
This house was built for laser tag.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
