I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
