Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize