Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
