remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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