Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
