Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
