im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
