im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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