I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
