yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
