needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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