i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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