So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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