Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
