Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
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Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
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in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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