Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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