Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
