Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
