as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
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Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
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It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I need to sanitize my soul.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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