Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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