he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
