Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
