i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
